


Dance of the Leeds

by spidermanhomecomeme



Series: all these things and more, darling [9]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, F/M, Holidays, Matchmaking, POV Outsider, Secret Relationship, everyone has exactly one brain cell, that they all share, title based on the Nutcracker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidermanhomecomeme/pseuds/spidermanhomecomeme
Summary: In which Ned takes it upon himself to find the perfect match for his unlucky-in-love best friend, Peter.“See ya, dude. I’m here if you need me. Remember that.”“Thanks, man,” Peter says, his voice holding a certain sadness to it as he starts for the door.Ned gives a single nod, muttering under his breath as he watches his friend wander into the library. “Oh, Peter, you beautiful spinster. I will find you love.”
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: all these things and more, darling [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055570
Comments: 34
Kudos: 76
Collections: Spideychelle Secret Santa - 2k20, Twelve Days of Promptmas





	Dance of the Leeds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [you_guys_are_losers (courting_insanity)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/courting_insanity/gifts).



> The last day of promptmas AND my secret Santa fic!!! For lynn!! Have a merry Christmas, bb!! love u lots<3

Something’s wrong. 

Ned doesn’t know what it is specifically but… things like this? He can just tell. It’s something about how the air feels different, how it  _ is _ different. 

He just has a knack for this kind of stuff. 

A talent, if you will.

Peter’s not the only one with a sixth sense. 

“Dude, come on,” Ned urges as he passes the peppermint mocha—with extra chocolate sprinkles and whipped cream—over the counter to his friend. “You gonna tell me what’s going on?” 

“Uh…” Peter stares back, brows pinched in slight confusion, lips pressed into a frown as his fingers toy with the cardboard sleeve of his mocha. “There’s nothing going on?” 

But there  _ is _ something going on. Peter only asks for double sprinkles or orders anything this sugary above a large when he’s down. This isn’t an everyday, pre-patrol drink. Sure, the cold weather’s come in, bitterly bone-chilling, bringing with it that age-old seasonal depression that takes no prisoners, but this is a different sadness. A new melancholy. 

Peter’s lonely. 

“Did the date with Liz not go well?” Ned asks, leaning forward on the counter, a sad, knowing smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Peter huffs, shaking his head. “Uh…” He scratches the back of his neck, suddenly unable to look his friend in the eye. “Yeah. No. I kinda… Accidentally found out I put her dad in jail. So I had to… You know… leave.” 

Ned grimaces. “Oo. Awkward.”

“Yeah…” Peter trails off before blowing out a harsh breath of air, an almost resigned sigh. “But… You know. I think it’s fine. I’m good.” 

“Are you good?” 

Again, Peter’s face scrunches. He recoils. “Yeah. I’m… I’m great.” 

“Peter…” Ned blinks. He knows better than to buy whatever his friend is peddling. It’s cuffing season. A hard time for any single. 

“I’m serious, Ned!” He says, his voice nearly an octave higher before he calms down again. “I think… I think I’m just gonna focus on me. For now.” 

_ For now, _ he says; the man who was dumped not six-months ago by certified hottie Felicia Hardy after a tumultuous, largely physical relationship. 

With a shake of his head, Ned smiles. “Come on, man. Don’t give up. The right person for you is out there. You just gotta find them. Reminds me of when Betty and I first fell in love—” He pauses, a dreamy look in his eyes as he gazes off into the library just outside the coffee shop. “—I was swiping on Tinder, you know, and there were so many profiles, but… hers was different. Her bio said—” He throws a flourishing gesture. “—former high school news anchor—”

“—I want to be on top of _ your _ current events,” Peter finishes for him.

So, Ned may have told this story a couple of thousand times before. What of it?

“Exactly,” Ned smiles easily. “And then… she  _ did _ get on top of my current events.”

Peter makes a face. 

“The current events  _ of my heart.” _

The face contorts even more. 

“Maybe you can try Tinder again?” Ned suggests carefully, shoulders rising in a slight shrug. 

Peter’s lips twist into a thoughtful, yet tired expression. He replies with a half-hearted, “Yeah. Maybe.”

It’s then that Ned’s elderly coworker, Delores, clears her throat, throwing an impatient glare to the two boys loitering at the counter. Ned smiles apologetically at her before turning back to his friend. “See ya, dude. I’m here if you need me. Remember that.”

“Thanks, man,” Peter says, his voice holding a certain sadness to it as he starts for the door. 

Ned gives a single nod, muttering under his breath as he watches his friend wander into the library. “Oh, Peter, you beautiful spinster. I will find you love.”

“What?” Peter asks, brow furrowed in confusion, half-turning to look back. 

_ Damn super-hearing. _

“Nothing!” Ned calls.

And as Peter disappears into the sea of books and scholarly journals, Ned gets to work—the work of finding the perfect person for his best friend. The rest of his shift is spent deep in thought, mentally sorting through every classmate, every student that he knows. He already knows the perfect place to start—there’s a party this weekend, Jason and Flash are hosting. If anything, those two are known for inviting the hottest, most eligible singles—along with their friends, of course. 

There’s bound to be someone there that Peter would be interested in. 

Then again, it can’t just be  _ anyone. _ Ned knows this. Sure, Peter can be a dumbass sometimes—and honestly, who isn’t?— but that doesn’t mean he deserves less. 

No, Peter needs someone that complements him. He needs someone funny. Someone  _ good _ . Someone attractive. Someone  _ smart _ . Someone—

“Are you gonna take my order or…?” 

A deadpan voice snaps Ned out of his internal monologue; a voice that belongs to his friend, MJ, as she stands in front of him, one thumb hooked under the strap of her backpack, lips pressed together into a thin line. 

“Oh, sorry,” Ned laughs. 

She exhales sharply, he assumes in amusement, as she rocks back on her heels, waving him off. “It’s cool. You were, like,  _ gone, _ though. You good?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ned says, nodding quickly. “Just… Trying to think of who I can set my friend Peter up with.”

“Peter?” MJ asks, brow furrowing slightly.  _ “Locked-out-of-his-dorm-naked-on-the-roof _ Peter?” 

“Uh. Yeah. That Peter.” Ned chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “He wasn’t… He wasn’t naked, though.”

Yes, he remembers that day well. The whole campus does. Peter had forgotten his keys and had to call an RA to get back into the building, scaring the poor girl by meeting her in just his boxer briefs. Unbeknownst to everyone else except for Ned though, the reason Peter was down to just his skivvies was because of a certain red and blue spandex suit and a secret identity. 

MJ nods slowly. 

“Yeah, he’s just… been really down lately. I wanna help him out.”

“That’s nice,” she offers genuinely. “Make sure you do a thorough background check on anyone, though. Wanna make sure they’re not like, government spies, or shit like that.” 

Ned huffs out a laugh, nodding. “Wow, you’re right. Will do.”

“You’re welcome,” she replies. “By the way, I want a chai latte. Medium.”

“Oh! Sorry. Again. I’ll get that.” 

Ned scrambles around the machines, making her drink, before moving to pass it over the counter. 

“So how are you gonna do this whole matchmaking thing?” She asks, absentmindedly stirring her latte with the complimentary wooden stick. 

“Well, Flash and Jason are having a party this weekend. I figured I’d drag Peter there and play wingman, you know?” 

Michelle nods slowly, taking a long sip of her latte. A beat passes before she lets out a faint snort. “You’re not gonna like, trap someone under the mistletoe with him, are you?” She asks, amusement bubbling under her tone at the sheer absurdity. 

“No! Of course not.” Ned scoffs dramatically, laughing with her, feeling his heart drop into his stomach. 

_ Cross “operation mistletoe” off the list... _

It may have been one of his plans. 

_ Definitely _ the back-up plan.

When he looks back up at her, she’s frozen mid-drink, eyeing him carefully. 

“That’s it. I’m going, too.”

Ned balks, sputtering. “What—wha—but… but why?” His voice is impossibly high and breathy, and he almost feels like some whiny teenager who just found out their mom is chaperoning the school dance. “I mean, you’re obviously more than welcome to come but like…” He frowns. “Why? You hate parties.”

“Do I?” She narrows her eyes at him, tilting her chin up in a challenge. 

“MJ…” This time it does come out in a whine, and he’d almost be embarrassed if he weren’t so annoyed. 

“Listen, I’ll just be there as back-up, alright?” She reassures him, holding her hands out as if calming a spooked animal. “You can still do your whole wingman thing. I’ll be there just in case you need help. Don’t worry.”

Her voice trails off at the end, a shyness to it that Ned almost doesn’t recognize. 

“Why do you care so much?” Ned asks, squinting with playful suspicion. 

This time, MJ’s the one who can’t seem to make eye contact. She shifts on her feet, her gaze glued to her drink. She shrugs. “I just…” She huffs. “I just think it’s cool how you’re doing this for him. And like… I dunno… I just really like setting people up.” 

“Wait wait wait wait—What?” Ned asks, recoiling in confusion. “Who’ve you set up?” 

Michelle blinks. “You and Betty.” 

Ned lets out a single laugh. “Uh, yeah. No. Tinder did that.” 

“See, it’s funny you say that, because I was actually hanging out with Betty the day you guys matched,” Michelle starts, raising a single brow, the corners of her lips quirking into a frown. “We were going through all the profiles together—I mean, I guess, she was showing them to me, whatever—but, yours came up, I said I knew you, and I happened to mention your whole binder collection and how you’re both obsessed with Marie Kondo, and after that… it was pretty much an instant swipe right.”

Ned can only stare in bewilderment. How had he not known this?

Also—

“Why’d you say anything? I mean, I’m so grateful, you’re  _ amazing _ , but… like… why?” 

“I dunno…” Michelle shrugs, borderline sheepish. “I thought you guys would be cute.”

Ned thinks he just might slip and fall on the cheap tile floor. A huge smile spreads from ear to ear as he practically beams at his friend. “Oh my God! MJ, you’re such a softie!” 

“Shut up,” she mutters, hiding her smile behind her latte. “I want my friends to be happy. So what?”

“Awwwww MJ—”

“—So help me God, Leeds, I brought you two together and I can rip you apart.”

But Ned can’t keep from laughing despite the empty threat; he would think she’s deathly serious if it weren’t for the subtle way one corner of her lips twitch upward. “Okay, okay, fine. Point made. You can come,” he relents, though it’s not as if he really needed to. 

MJ seems to have already made up her mind. 

“Cool,” she replies with a single nod, lips pressing into a small smile. 

“But remember: leave it all to me. I’m Peter’s guy-in-the-chair. I’ve got this.” 

Michelle quirks a brow at him, as if to gauge whether or not he’s serious. She takes another slow sip of her latte, giving him a quick wink. 

“It’ll be like I’m not even there.”

\--

And as it turns out, MJ had been more than a little right on that. Ned almost thinks she’s forgotten about the party and the plan entirely when he can’t spot her in the sea of tipsy, slightly sweaty party goers. 

Perhaps she’d never planned to come all along? That their conversation at the campus coffee shop had all been some kind of joke? One of those trademarked MJ-isms where she looks completely serious but she’s just messing with you?

But in all honesty, Ned’s not too bothered by it, knowing that this just means he can go back to his original plan. It’s his time to shine, his time to execute _ operation mistletoe _ without the fear of MJ’s disapproving glare. This is how he can find love for his best friend. 

And unsurprisingly, Peter seems wary of Ned and his big, grand ideas and schemes, though he still follows close behind, nursing a bottle of cheep beer as they wade through the crowd. Ned scans each and every face, his gaze meticulous as it scrutinizes every feature. He looks and listens for a nice laugh, a pretty smile, a kind face. 

He nearly jumps, freezing in his tracks, causing Peter to stumble into his back, when the face of MJ is suddenly in front of him. 

“Sup,” she says, giving a casual nod to each boy. 

“Oh, hey,” Ned says, smiling awkwardly as he glances between his two friends. He’s never been good with combining friend groups, never knowing how exactly to do it. How much do they already know about each other? Do they even need a formal introduction?

“Hey, I’m Peter,” his friend says with a lopsided grin, extending a hand out. 

He beat Ned to it. 

The corner of MJ’s lips quirk into a soft smile as she takes his hand, huffing in amusement at such a formal gesture. “Michelle. But, uh—my friends call me MJ.” 

They’re still shaking hands more than a second later before Ned speaks up. 

They don’t have _ time _ for this. 

_ Time  _ is of the  _ essence.  _

To find Peter _ love. _

“Yeah, this is the MJ I was talking about—the one I said was hanging with us tonight?”

Peter nods slowly in recognition, quickly taking his hand away. He clears his throat. “Right. Right. Nice to… nice to meet you.”

“Uh, yeah. Same,” MJ replies. 

It’s then, as Ned’s scanning the crowd again, that he sees her. A flash of golden blonde hair tossed over her shoulder as she laughs at something one of her friends said, a sweet smile as she listens to some drunk frat guy talking at her. Ned immediately notices the pretty pastel blue of her dress, simple, with delicate ruffles at the hem, and when she turns her face again, he instantly recognizes her from Bio last semester. 

Namely, he remembers every single science pun t-shirt she wore to their lab days. 

She’s perfect.

“Hey, uh—” He falters, his eyes staying on the girl just ahead. “I’ll be… I’ll be right back. I need to… Go to… the… bathroom.” He only tears his gaze away to make eye contact with Michelle, silently telling her to stay with Peter and to make sure he has no idea what’s actually going on. 

Her eyes widen slightly as if to argue, but Ned doesn’t look back as he strides off to the blonde in the pretty blue dress. 

The girl’s standing by the mixers and colorful wall of hard liquor, pouring herself what looks like a mixture of orange juice and Malibu. Ned slows his pace, keeping it cool and casual as he walks up next to her, grabbing a new red cup. 

She’s laughing at something her friend says when he pretends to do a double take. “Oh, hey!” He greets, pouring two shots of vodka into his cup. 

When she looks at him, a smile of recognition spreads across her features.

“Gwen, right?” Ned asks, though he already knows the answer. 

“Ned! Hey! Oh my God!” She replies, enthusiastically clapping him on the back. There’s the slightest of lilts to her tone, her words subtly slurring together from one or two drinks before. “It’s been forever, man! How ya been?”

Ned smiles easily, already envisioning being the best man at the Stacy-Parker wedding, going to dinners at the Stacy-Parker residence, babysitting the Stacy-Parker children. 

“Good! Been a crazy semester,” he laughs, cracking open a Sprite and pouring it into his red cup. “How about you?”

Gwen rolls her eyes dramatically. “God. Just glad it’s over,” she snorts. “Started getting stuff ready for my capstone project and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to drop out more.” 

Ned laughs with her, tipping his drink in solidarity. “I’ll drink to that.” He takes a slow sip, nose wrinkling at how his two shots tasted more like _ four _ . He shakes his head, knowing that he needs to focus. He’s a man on a mission, and he’s not here to mess around. 

It’s a simple science, and this is his laboratory. 

He asks Gwen about her project, what she plans on doing. He knows she’s a science gal, that she’s majoring in biochemistry, and even though he doesn’t quite hear her answer over the thumping bass of the music and the chorus of drunk voices singing along to what he can only assume is supposed to be Usher’s  _ Yeah _ , he enthusiastically replies that his friend—his good buddy Peter—knows tons about that shit. 

It’s foolproof. 

Gwen’s eyes seem to light up, hearing about someone as interested in enzymes with some moonlighting activity as she is. She follows Ned readily, smiling all the way over. 

And MJ’s done her part, keeping Peter company—more than her part, really. He’s actually smiling—genuinely—nodding along to whatever she’s saying to him. 

“...so there’s like this supercomputer under the foreign language building that’s like, owned by the government.” MJ’s expression is almost blank, her shoulders raised in a nonchalant shrug. “I dunno, they say the tunnels were used to carry steam from a heating plant, but—” She raises her eyebrows, lips pressing into a frown. 

“Oh,” is all Peter says in response, huffing out a laugh. 

Ned clears his throat. “Hey, guys…” He gestures to the girl behind him. “This is Gwen.”

“Hey, Gwen,” Peter gives a small wave. 

MJ nods. “Hey—”

But Ned cuts her off. “Peter! Gwen’s doing her capstone project on…” He glances over at her. “Protein moonlighting.” 

A smile stretches across Peter’s face as he nods. “Oh, nice. How’s that going?”

“Ehhh…” Gwen tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Could be better,” she laughs. “It’s still in the early stages and what not. So.”

Ned can’t help but smile as he watches them nod awkwardly at each other, he leans closer to MJ, muttering just under his breath so that only she can hear. “That was easy.” 

Michelle  _ hmphs _ , her shoulders shaking with a silent laugh. 

He’s about to say something else, something about how he didn’t need her help after all, when his phone buzzes in his pocket, a series of texts from his lady love, Betty, announcing that she’s here, asking where he is because she can’t find him in the crowd. 

“I’m gonna—” He holds his phone up, smiling sheepishly. 

“—Go,” MJ waves him away with a fond scoff. “I’m gonna go grab another drink.” 

Truly, he feels bad, leaving his friend alone—the fifth wheel. The spare tire on the back of the jeep. Though, perhaps he shouldn’t, given that this is normally what she does at parties. She sticks to the walls and corners, sometimes going outside to get a breath of fresh, not sweaty air. 

“I’ll be right back,” he promises anyway, ignoring the way she rolls her eyes. 

He’s not right back, though, because it takes at least twenty minutes of phone-tag with bad reception, getting lost in the too-big frat house more than once, before he finally reaches his girlfriend.

Betty, of course, looks radiant when he sees her. Absolutely stunning. The epitome of beauty. But as much as he wants to sneak off with her right at that very second, he knows he has to check on his friends. At least once. 

He’s not surprised to find that, well, he  _ can’t _ find Michelle. It’s just like her, mysteriously disappearing into the shadows. 

And, truly, he gets a thrill when he can’t find Peter either. 

Mission accomplished then. 

If there was an olympic medal for being a good friend, Ned would get gold. 

You know what? To sweeten the deal, Ned’s not going back to his and Peter’s tonight. He’s giving his friend the whole night to fall in love, to revel in the throes of passion with his soon to be _ inamorata _ . He’ll stay at Betty’s. Like the good friend he is. 

Give them all the privacy they need!

He texts Peter this, of course, complete with at least three winky-face emojis, an eggplant, and the water droplets. 

Peter only responds with a facepalm. 

_ That’s not what he’ll be saying tomorrow,  _ Ned thinks with a grin. 

And after a night with his own beautiful lady, Ned makes his way home in the late morning, a near-skip in his step as he walks the halls of their apartment building. 

Peter’s awake in the kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee when he walks through the front door. His friend looks up with a beaming smile. 

It’s a wonder why he’s in such a good mood. 

(No, it’s not. Ned knows.)

“Hey, man,” Peter greets as Ned tosses his keys onto the counter. 

Ned gives him a knowing side-eyed glance. “Hey.”

Peter only blinks in confusion, a wary smile tugging at his lips. 

It’s almost unbearable, waiting for him to say something, to start talking about his night. Ned’s fingers are tapping erratically against the marbled surface of the counter, his lips pursing in thinly-veiled nonchalance. 

His patience lasts all but a minute. 

“So…” he draws on, quirking a single brow. 

Peter pauses. 

“How was last night?” 

The question is loaded. Unbelievably so. A build-a-bear, stuffed to the brim. 

Peter clears his throat, seemingly unable to keep himself from smiling. “Good. Uh, really good.” 

Ned narrows his eyes knowingly. “Uh huh.”

“Yeah,” Peter nods, lips pressing together. “MJ’s really, really cool.” 

Ned recoils. “What? I mean. Yeah. She is. But… I’m not talking about MJ, dude.” 

“Oh, Gwen?” Peter frowns slightly, arms folding across his chest. “No, yeah. She’s great. Just… I don’t think we… mesh well?” 

Ned quirks a brow. “That mark on your neck tells me you  _ meshed _ just fine.”

Peter’s eyes nearly bug out of his head as one of his hands flies to his neck. “What?” 

“I’m kidding!” Ned eases him, laughing. “Made ya look, though.” 

“Rude,” Peter scoffs, shaking his head. “But, yeah. I don’t… I wasn’t really into Gwen in that way, I guess.” 

“You only just met her though!” Ned reasons.

“I know, but… I didn’t really… feel anything? Like, she’s cool and all. But there wasn’t… There wasn’t really a…” He waffles for a moment, thinking. “A spark?”

“Wow.” Ned nods slowly. “Very rom-com of you.” 

Peter shoots him a glare, the corner of his lips twitching upward. “But…” He pauses. “I thought… uh… MJ was… super cool.” 

Ned’s face scrunches in confusion for the second time. Obviously, Peter’s not wrong by any means, but how could he go to that party last night to meet his true love, and come out only being able to talk about MJ? 

Again, MJ’s amazing. She’s great. She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s pretty. 

But she’s not the one for him. 

“That’d be so weird,” Ned finds himself laughing. Because in all honesty, it would be weird. He can’t see it happening. He looks down at the second cup of coffee, pointing to it. “Is that for me?”

Peter’s mouth hangs open for a moment as he glances around the room. 

“Uh… Yeah.”

Ned smiles genuinely. “Thanks, man. Listen, I know last night was kind of a disappointment but—” He leans forward, his expression earnest. “I will not give up.”

“Oh, so you are trying to set me up with someone,” Peter muses, half-smiling. “I thought so.” 

“MJ didn’t say anything, did she?”

Peter looks down at his coffee cup, grinning as he shakes his head. “No. No, she didn’t.”

“Good.” Ned grabs the cup, heading for his room. He looks back over his shoulder. “Like I said, I’m not giving up. I already know another place we can look.” 

He doesn’t see the way Peter’s smile fades, nor does he hear the half-hearted, “Great!” as he disappears into his room. 

\--

It’s not until a week later that another perfect opportunity falls right into their laps. This time, it’s a simple, pre-finals study session at one of the coffee shops outside of campus, the opportunity being the subtle flirting from the cute barista—Ned notices that his name’s  _ Johnny _ —when Peter orders his usual peppermint mocha. 

Peter, of course, is oblivious, smiling stiffly when hot-barista-guy-Johnny hands him his coffee, retreating to the safety of their table. 

“Dude,” Ned says as Peter sits across from him. 

Peter’s gaze shifts left and right. “What?” 

“Get back up and go ask that guy for his number!” 

Peter breathes out a laugh, a nervous chuckle, shaking his head. “Uh… No. No, I don’t think so.” 

It’s possible that Ned’s never been this confused before. This Johnny guy seems to have it all. A great smile, a great face, a great body. Definitely Peter’s type.

Ned’s head jerks back, brows scrunching in bewilderment. “Uh… Why not? Did you not see the way he was flirting with you?” 

The two of them look back in time to see Johnny throw Peter a subtle, borderline shy wave. 

“I mean, I did—”

“Do you not think he’s hot?”

“I—I do… but—”

“—then what’s holding you back, Peter?” Ned slaps a hand on the table. “Listen, I know Betty and I always say love is like a butterfly and you crush it, but  _ dude! _ You gotta at least try and catch it before it flies away!”

Peter only stares back at him for a moment, eyes wide. He glances left and right. “I don’t like his arms,” he blurts out. 

Ned’s confusion deepens. “His arms?” 

“His—his arms.” Peter nods slowly, swallowing. “Yup.”

“What’s wrong with his arms?” 

“I don’t like ‘em.” Peter shakes his head with a noncommittal shrug, refusing to elaborate. 

“I think he has great arms,” MJ, who’s been sitting quietly this whole time, nose stuck in her Brit Lit textbook, pipes up from her side of the table. In the past week, she seems to have made herself a  _ permanent _ back-up wingwoman, quietly following the two of them along to whatever plan Ned comes up with.

She looks up with an innocent shrug. 

Peter’s gaze snaps to her, his brows scrunching, mouth hanging open in betrayal. It’s odd how much he lingers on her.

Ned only feels validated. 

Michelle seems to bite back a smirk as she continues reading. 

“Thank you,” Ned says before turning his attention back to Peter. “Okay, fine. You don’t like his arms. I won’t pressure you into asking him out.”

Peter nods, giving a relieved smile. 

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not giving him your number!” Ned spits out, jumping from the table.

He just barely hear’s Peter shouting his name as he runs to the counter. 

\--

Peter never ends up calling Johnny. 

Ned knows this only because Peter literally never leaves their apartment in the next few days. He hides in his room, reduced to a red-and-blue recluse, coming out only for proper sustenance. He tells Ned it’s so he can study, but Ned knows better. 

He’s hiding. 

Avoiding all contact with the outside world. Discouraged by the disappointment of his love life. 

If Ned doesn’t act fast, this might be permanent. 

Finally, on the Thursday of finals week, Ned bursts into Peter’s room, his phone in hand. “Okay! I’ve found the person for you!” 

Peter doesn’t have any kind of time to respond before Ned’s shoving his phone into his face, the instagram app open on a girl’s page. 

“Her name’s Cindy and she’s psych major, she’s super smart, does gymnastics, and—” He scrolls quickly, his thumb almost shaking in excitement, stopping abruptly on a picture of Cindy holding a small beagle. “—she has a dog.”

Peter’s silent, clearly taking it all in—the word vomit, the instagram page, the dog. “Uh… I mean—” He clears his throat. “—She seems cool? Did you… Did you just find her page randomly?”

Ned huffs, impatient. “I mean, yes, but also no. She’s one of MJ’s friends.”

“Ah,” Peter nods warily. “Well. Um.” 

“Just… give her a follow… slide into those DMs… and get the date!” Ned lists out for him. “It’s simple!”

This time, Peter laughs. It’s quiet, it’s barely there, but it’s a laugh. “Listen, man, I’m super grateful that you’re doing all this for me, but…” He swallows. “I—uh… I actually…” He hesitates, his thumbs twiddling in his lap. “I kinda have a… date tonight?”

Ned feels as if he’s been spun around at a million miles an hour. He nearly jumps through the ceiling. “What?! Oh my God! That’s awesome!” He truly feels over the moon, so happy for his friend, happy to have been able to help. “I’m so proud of you.”

Before Peter can say anything, Ned’s pulling him into a hug. 

“You’re gonna kill it—but don’t… don’t actually kill them.”

Peter huffs out a laugh, patting him on the back. “Thanks for the advice.” 

“Do I know this mystery person?” Ned asks as he pulls back. 

“Uh…” Peter scratches the back of his neck. “No. Nope. Don’t think so.”

“Wow.” Ned pretends to wipe a tear from his face. “You’re growing up so fast.” His tone shifts again as he pokes and prods his friend for answers. “So… Are you gonna… bring them back here? Do I need to make myself scarce?” 

Peter laughs. “Uh, no. I think… I think we’re going to hers tonight.” 

“Tonight?” He asks with raised brows. “So this isn’t like, a first time thing, huh?”

“Uh, no… Not exactly.”

“Wait wait wait—” Ned holds up a hand. “How long have you been seeing this person?”

Peter stiffens, shrugging, not making direct eye contact. “A week-ish? I think?” 

Ned’s eyes widen. “What?! And you didn’t tell me?”

“I’m sorry, I just—you were working so hard on finding someone for me, and I wasn’t sure if this was… going anywhere, so I didn’t wanna jinx it, you know?”

And he does know. It makes sense. Peter doesn’t want to jump the gun. It’s smart. 

Ned nods after a beat. “Yeah. I gotcha. It’s okay, man.”

“I—I think it is going somewhere though,” Peter says earnestly, a smile playing on his lips, his cheeks tinting pink. “I think she really likes me.” 

“That’s great,” Ned replies genuinely. “Well,” He gives a sly nod and a wink, throwing in some finger guns for good measure as he makes for the door. “I’ll be at Betty’s anyway. Just in case.” 

“Thanks man,” Peter chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Keep me updated!”

“Will do!” His friend calls after him. 

Truly, Ned doesn’t think he’s ever been more proud of Peter. Getting back out in the game is hard after such a devastating break-up. And with that pride comes an overwhelming happiness that his friend has found someone to share the magic of the holiday season with. Someone to hold hands with in the snow. Someone to watch  _ Elf _ on repeat with. Someone to snuggle close to to keep warm. 

He tells Betty all of this when he gets to her place, going on and on about how far Peter’s come since the break-up. And Betty listens, only gently teasing him for how invested in his friend’s love life he is. 

_ I’m proud of you, too, babe,  _ she says, her hand on his cheek before she leans in for a sweet kiss. 

He makes sure to text MJ about all this, letting her know that their work has all paid off. 

She sends back three thumbs-up emojis. 

And he muses, as he reads her text, how much help she’d actually been. Having her with them for each hang out has seemed to bring Peter even more out of his sad, cold shell. Her being there seems to have given him a confidence, a radiance that Ned hasn’t seen in some time. 

While he’d been hesitant at first, he’s glad he let MJ come along that first night.

He’s glad that she and Peter seem to be such good friends now. 

After only a little over a week, no less!

But his own celebrations this evening are cut short when Betty reminds him of her 7 AM final the next morning. He understands though, leaving with good-luck kiss and hug. 

He considers on his walk home, the twinkling lights of a festive New York City around him, texting Peter to get an update on how his date’s going. But instead, he holds back. Peter’s grown. He needs to experience this all on his own. The baby bird needs to be pushed out of the nest. He’ll give updates on whether or not he could actually fly in the morning. 

In all his joy and warmth that his friend’s found festive love, Ned’s one brain cell seems to have taken a vacation to the Bahamas. He climbs the stairs to their apartment, whistling a merry tune to himself as he pulls his keys out of his pocket, the sounds echoing in the hallway. 

The door opens, and he’s met with a sight he never thought he’d see—a sight he never wanted to see. 

On the couch, his friend Peter  _ on top of his friend MJ, _ absolutely mauling her neck as her hands grab greedy fistfuls of his jean-clad butt. 

“What the fuck—” Ned screams, feeling like a deer caught in horrible, horrible headlights, unable to look away from the truck that’s about to flatten him. 

God, he shudders to think had he been just a little later.

Instantly, Peter jumps off of MJ, his hair, his clothes, his _ entire being _ in disarray. MJ stays flat on the couch, frantically adjusting her shirt. “Ned!” Peter shouts, his voice high and breathy, arms folding across his chest. “What are you—what are you doing home?” 

The question is a sorry attempt at nonchalance. They all know it. 

“What are you doing on top of MJ?!” Ned fires back.

MJ herself snorts at that. 

Peter shoots her a helpless glare. 

But Ned’s not showing any mercy. He shakes his head in disappointment, much like how he imagines Peter’s mentor would do. “I thought you had a date tonight!” 

It’s Peter’s turn to be confused. His brows scrunch as he glances between MJ and Ned, mouth hanging open. 

“I’m his date,” MJ pipes up. 

And at that, Ned feels frozen in place, unable to comprehend exactly what he’s hearing. Peter and MJ? Sure, it made a little sense. Did it? No… Maybe? His two best friends? Together? 

He needs to sit down. 

“So… this whole time…?”

Both Peter and MJ nod sheepishly. 

“I—” Ned breathes out a laugh, his world flipped upside down. One minute, he thinks he has it all figured out, the next, these two bastards rip the rug right out from under him. “What? When? How?”

Peter glances to MJ, his eyes meeting hers for a moment. “Well, we uh—met, at the party last week, you know… and there was this… connection, I guess?” 

“We hooked up in one of the closets,” MJ clarifies bluntly. 

A laugh bursts from Peter as he looks at her fondly. “Yeah. Yeah. We did.” He clears his throat. “And we’ve been… seeing each other since.” 

“You mean sneaking around!” Ned accuses, feeling the slightest bit hurt that neither of his friends felt they could talk to him, that they had to hide this. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Again, Peter and MJ exchange glances. 

“I mean, it’s only been a week,” Michelle reasons. “We didn’t wanna jinx anything,” she says, unknowingly echoing Peter’s words from earlier. 

“And—” Peter tacks on. “I tried to tell you, that morning after, but…”

“I laughed it off,” Ned shakes his head, more at himself than anything. He was the reason they felt like they couldn’t talk. Damn it.

“Yeah, it was kinda rude,” MJ says with a playful smirk. 

Ned’s brow scrunches in confusion before his eyes widen comically. “Wait—you were here??”

“Hiding in Pete’s room. You drank my coffee.”

“I can’t believe this. On  _ Christmas, _ no less!”

“It’s December 13th,” MJ deadpans.

Ned shoots her a glare.

A beat passes. Peter lets out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Listen, man. Sorry we didn’t tell you man, but—I didn’t wanna mess it up so early, you know? And like, it’s so new… but...” He looks over to Michelle. “I really like, MJ, and—”

“—I really like you, too,” she blurts out, smiling apologetically. 

And it’s then, as Ned watches his two friends making googly eyes at each other, as he watches Peter reach out and take MJ’s hand, he realizes how blind he’d been. 

Maybe, all along, they  _ were _ perfect for each other. 

Maybe he’d been wrong to laugh it off. 

“You guys!” Ned draws out, instantly moving forward to pull them into the warmest group hug of their entire lives. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice!” 

“It’s okay,” Peter breathes out a laugh as he and MJ both stiffly pat Ned on the back. “Don’t worry about it man.” 

“Just know—” Ned pulls back, looking both of his friends in the eyes. “That you have my blessing.”

That earns a snort from the two of them. 

“Thanks,” MJ says slowly, a bemused smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

Peter huffs in amusement. “Yeah. Uh. Thanks.”

A warm beat passes, Ned basking in his new—doubled!—happiness for his friends. Sure, he’d been confused at first. Annoyed, even. But it’s impossible, he finds, to stay mad at these two idiots. He loves them too much. 

“But just for hiding it, the first double date’s on you guys.”

MJ and Peter both roll their eyes fondly, their gazes meeting each other’s half-way, slow, easy grins to match, and Ned realizes after a moment that he’s never seen either of them smile like that.

“Deal.” 


End file.
